Monday, February 23, 2015

Coffee for the lady in the black coat… Oh, that’s me!


     

           You walk in the coffee shop to grab a pick-me-up for the afternoon.  You know people do it all the time but this is sort of a treat for you.  You drove around the block a couple of times trying to decide if you should take the time to find a spot, get out, stand in line, not to mention the fact that it would take the last bit of cash in your wallet to pay for it!  But you bit the bullet and decided to join the rest of the American craze and pay an arm and a leg for a cup of coffee.


     You enter to the intoxicating smells and the whirling sound of the cappuccino maker glad you allowed yourself a little guilty pleasure, when you noticed him… sitting alone at a little table along the outskirts of the room.  Ah darn.  If you had known he would be here you wouldn’t have stopped. But you’re here now, so you’ll have to let come what may. 

     It’s not because you didn’t want to see him.  It’s because you do!   You adore the dude, but you’re not sure the feeling is mutual. Of course he’ll be polite and acknowledge you.  He may even invite you to join him. You would like nothing more, but you hope you’re not being an imposition.  You wonder if he felt a tinge of dread when he caught you walking in the door. 

     Sure enough he does the gentlemanly thing.  He puts down his paper, takes a sip and moves toward the register pulling out a couple bucks to pay for the lady in the black coat… Oh that’s you!  He joins you in line to make small talk and the next thing you know both of you are sitting at the cozy little table shooting the breeze.  He may be shooting the breeze, but you are relishing his company and feeling warmed just being in his presence…

     You leave with mixed emotions.  He seemed pleasant enough, but is it just because he’s a nice guy and wouldn’t dare be rude.  Or is there any chance that his heart matched yours and skipped a beat when he caught a glimpse of you.  Did seeing you make his day like seeing him made yours?

      If only… 

     To your delight you receive a random call from him a few days later asking if you could break away for a cup of coffee around 2:30.  You check your calendar.
       
      “Sure”, you tell him. “Is something wrong?” 

     “No”, he says. “I just thought we could spend some time together.” 

     You show up around 2:30 and find him already there.  He lights up when he hears the jingle of the door opening to find you standing there scanning the room for him. He knows your choice drink so he’s already ordered it and even added your favorite cookie to the mix. 

     This time you leave with no doubt of his sheer pleasure of being with you.  This time the need for an obligatory gesture of kindness didn’t exist.  The whole idea of spending time with you belonged to him.  He chose to see you.  He rearranged his schedule to see you.  He took a risk of rejection to invite you.  Why? He desired to be with you.  You…just as you are.  You.

     Stay with me here.  Sometimes I feel like this towards God.  I wonder if He’s just being polite to me because He has too.  He’s God after all.  He’s supposed to take care of His children.  I search for Him, but does He ever want to search for me?  I come constantly into His presence and bear my soul.  I wonder…does He feel a tinge of dread when the throne room doors open and there I am again…blabbering on and on before I even enter!

     Maybe I’m not supposed to admit that I wonder that sometimes.  But I’ve already done it so I might as well conclude the story J  The other night these thoughts plagued me.  I want so much of God.  I wonder, but does He want me?  I picked up my Bible out of obedience and duty more than desire.  I couldn’t imagine I’d find much in my reading to help me.  But I was wrong.  I stumbled across a verse that quenched my soul. Apparently David had moments of wonder as well.  Tucking into Palm 119 is a little phrase, “seek thy servant”.

     My heart cried out, “God! Do you want to search for me? I want you to want me!” He gently reminded me of a line in the poem He dropped in my heart a few years ago.  It went like this,
“No matter how early I try to be,
He’s always there first just waiting on me!”

     The answer is Yes!  He does want to search for you.  He does light up when you walk into His presence.  He does enjoy being with you.  Don’t leave Him there at the table with your favorite drink alone… Go!  He’s waiting for you J