"God, can I help?"

       

     Who could resist those big blue eyes and that caramel colored hair streaming over her shoulders?  Not me. When I hear that sweet little voice, “Aunt Becca, can I help?” I’m a dead ringer no matter how rushed I may feel. On the outside my mouth turns up to a smile and I hear my voice say, “Sure! Grab that step stool.”  On the inside my mind is kicking up into plan B.  I’m wondering what task I can give her that she can do.  Yes, it will take longer now; the mess messier and the final outcome not exactly like it would be if I were doing it myself.
     So what are my options?  I could tell her no; that we don’t have time for me to teach her how to crack the egg or sift the flour.  I’m a clean as I go kind of baker.  But I can’t keep the place clean with an apprentice at my side.  So do I tell her in the rush of the moment I don’t want to deal with the extra mess of the inexperienced?  I suppose a cruel hearted aunt could say that…
     Of course it would be easier just to do it myself.  But I wouldn’t dare turn down an opportunity to spend one on one time with my niece. Time to teach her how to stir the batter till all the lumps are gone, to chat about her favorite things, her dreams, to enjoy creating something together… at her request.  Yes, when she cracks the eggs I may have to dig out a few shells when she’s not looking or go back over the cake with another glob of icing, but the pleasure of the relationship eliminates any slight inconvenience.
     I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how much I mess up in God’s work.  I want to help and be a part of building His Kingdom.  It blows me away to think that the God of this universe would entrust His work to us.  I so often misrepresent Him.  I’m so terribly inadequate in the tasks I’m privileged to do.  Yet, God says, “Sure! Grab that step stool.”  I think I’m the one cracking the eggs, but no doubt He’s going behind me scraping out all the eggshells. Kind of eliminates any thought of pride when life is veiwed that way, eh? How much messier it must be with my hands involved than if He just did it all Himself! Which I might add, He is plenty capable of doing. Understatement of the century…
     But He doesn’t work that way.  He allows me to participate in His work.  Why?  I’m not sure, but perhaps because He loves to be in relationship. He cares more about my growth and development than He does a perfect scenario.  What an amazing God! And I am forever grateful.  His gracious merciful love touches me everyday. I’m grateful for his patience and willingness to allow me to participate in the His Kingdom work.  I’m grateful that no matter how much I mess up or fail, He continues to include me. May I always be conscious of the privilege and honor to work along side Him.           “Being confident of this very thing that He who began a good work 
                         in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”

How to drive in the storm...of life

How to drive in the storm…of life

     Tense. Unsure. Praying. Wanting to be just about anywhere but here… 

     Rain pounded my car. Sheets of water sloshed down the windshield faster than the wipers could wipe. If I didn’t know any better I’d say I had accidently driven into a car wash!  But I did know better.  I cruised along the interstate gripping the wheel.  Knuckles white. Radio off.  Shoulders scrunched.  Heart stiff.  Eyes peeled ahead with an occasional glance in the rear view mirror to watch for cars coming up behind me.  If I managed to stay in my lane I deemed it a pure miracle.  I could see nothing but liquid rolling down my window and a sporadic little white line on the road ahead of me. I wasn’t sure how fast or slow I dare go. If I crept along like a turtle another more daring car may hit me from behind.  If I accelerated too much I could loose control or hit one of the cars creeping along at turtle speed. From my vantage point inside my waterfall cocoon, I had no real indication if my car had veered off course.  I only knew that so far I hadn’t hit anything and nothing had hit me.  My wheels appeared to be driving on the same road I started on before the monsoon hit.

     Everything in me wanted to slam on the brakes and stop right in the middle of the highway. Or maybe I could just pull over to the side, but I’ve always heard that’s one of the worst decisions a driver makes in a storm. So I kept on driving.  Tense. Unsure. Praying. Wanting to be just about anywhere but here…

     Funny…it didn’t rain a drop yesterday and yet I felt exactly the same way.  Tense. Unsure. Praying. Wanting to be just about anywhere but here… Facing many unknowns.  Knuckles white. Shoulders scrunched. Eyes peeled straight ahead.  Heart stiff. Had no real control over anything around me. Couldn’t see how it would turn out or how long it would last.

     Dealing with people is a little like the weather.  They’re both unpredictable and both are going to do what they’re going to do.  And there ain’t much you can do about it but go with the flow.  Adjusting to the weather may include bringing an umbrella or wearing a scarf. Adjusting to people on the other hand can be a mite trickier.  People tend to have feelings and emotions.  They get mad or sad or glad or hurt or misunderstood or jealous or co-dependent or… you get the point.   I happen to be a people too…so I know.  People also get sweet and thoughtful and gracious and self-sacrificing and… an awful lot like Jesus. Bless them. 

     This season in my life I fight the urge to stop or at least pull over to the side of the road and sit this blurry time out.  I’d like to wait until the way is clear.  Then I could see where I’m headed and what it’s going to look like when I get there. I’m sure you know what I mean.  But then again, where would we all be if every time the way muddled we pulled out of the journey?  I guess I can’t speak for you, but I’d be sitting on the side of the road most of my life.  I’d be watching as the rest of the gang move forward to their destination.  I don’t really want to do that…

     Here’s the good news.  When the road ahead is shrouded with the unknown, as believers in Jesus we know He’s already gone ahead.  And He who sits high above the heavens can see past our moment.  Like a spotter on the top of a building, He sees much more than I can straight on.  He knows exactly where my road is taking me.  In fact, He’s the One who planned the route!

     He knew I’d feel like this. That’s why He gave Solomon these words in Ecclesiastes 11:4,6

“He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap.  In the morning sow your seed, and at evening withhold not your hand, for you do not know which will prosper, this or that, or whether both alike will be good.”

     Yeah! I can’t let a little rain and wind (ok a lot of rain and wind) stop me from moving forward.  The sun will shine one day! The way will be clear again.  But for today I will trust the One who made the sun and the One who knows my way.  I will not hold back.  I will learn from my mistakes.  I will keep pressing the accelerator.  I will travel on…

Hope & Glory! To You ~

Rebecca