Hi
All ~
“Too
often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word,
a
listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring –
all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia
all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” Leo Buscaglia
I loved my teaching
job at Parkview. I couldn’t believe I
actually received a paycheck to be there every day! One of the perks of my job
entailed our Tuesday morning prayer meetings. The privilege of being with such
incredible, Godly teachers always inspired and encouraged me. But on this
particular Tuesday, my mind struggled being present in the room. My body sat towards the back of the group just
as I had done numerous times. The conversation, the announcements
for the week and a few prayer request sounded more like the teacher on Charlie Brown than anything I recognized. The fierce battle exploding
in my heart and mind forced my undivided attention. What if God isn’t
enough? I needed to know… Suddenly, I
began to shake.
I didn’t notice it at first because my insides had been shaking for weeks. I think periodically throughout the last several days there had been moments I began to shake outwardly, but I had always been able to regain my composure. Today, however, I couldn’t control it. In recent days, I’d been forced to ask God and myself, “If everything were stripped away from me, would He truly be enough?” The reality of that question scared me to death. I’d been banking on the truth of His sufficiency my whole life. The test day had arrived and I didn’t know the answer.
At that moment every external thing I heard and saw clicked into slow motion. I started fading away into a world I could not reach and I believed could not reach me. The foundational question about God being enough thundered through my thoughts like a storm. The louder it shouted the more my uncertainty built. My insides intensified like the winding of a Jack in box. I dreaded the closing prayer. I had no idea how in Heaven’s name I’d be able to stand up, let alone walk down the hall to my class.
As the group bowed their heads to pray, the shaking escalated becoming more visible and uncontrollable. I felt any moment now, the strength to take the next breath would be gone and I would end up in a puddle on the ground. Everyone would be so shocked and say, “Oh, my goodness, what’s wrong with Rebecca?” I had no idea what would happen next. I didn’t know what to do. I wondered if this was how it felt to go crazy.
Suddenly, in the midst of this intense battle, I felt a gentle hand on my back. As if somehow this hand yanked me from the fight and lifted me above the warfare long enough to catch my breath and stop the arrows for just a moment. This touch propelled love and compassion through my veins, overriding the debilitating doubts and fears. Strength and calm returned to my body. I could breath again and almost instantly my shaking stopped! Someone had reached through the dark veil and pulled me back to the present. I peeked to see whose hand had ministered the relief. It was Jessica, our new student teacher. She’d been sitting in the desk next to me. After prayer she looked over to me and asked, “Rebecca, are you alright? You were shaking.”
She just touched me. No words. No solutions. No magic potions. But her simple gesture overwhelmed my senses and stopped a torrent of fear from erupting. Her powerful act created a calm, peacefully stream of courage and hope to flow instead. Her touch pointed me in the right direction to finding the answer I so desperately needed to know.
A hero is someone you would want to emulate. Jessica matched the description perfectly that morning. She will never know how God used her simple act of kindness to help me. It humbled me, as it revealed my inability to do this thing called life alone. But even more, her willingness to reach out to one in need inspired me, even in my pain, to see past myself to those who may need a simple act of kindness.
I wonder how the leprous man must have felt the day Jesus reached out and touched his disease infested body. I imagine he may have felt somewhat like I did in that classroom prayer meeting; wondering if anyone could make a difference, wondering if there is still hope.
I didn’t notice it at first because my insides had been shaking for weeks. I think periodically throughout the last several days there had been moments I began to shake outwardly, but I had always been able to regain my composure. Today, however, I couldn’t control it. In recent days, I’d been forced to ask God and myself, “If everything were stripped away from me, would He truly be enough?” The reality of that question scared me to death. I’d been banking on the truth of His sufficiency my whole life. The test day had arrived and I didn’t know the answer.
At that moment every external thing I heard and saw clicked into slow motion. I started fading away into a world I could not reach and I believed could not reach me. The foundational question about God being enough thundered through my thoughts like a storm. The louder it shouted the more my uncertainty built. My insides intensified like the winding of a Jack in box. I dreaded the closing prayer. I had no idea how in Heaven’s name I’d be able to stand up, let alone walk down the hall to my class.
As the group bowed their heads to pray, the shaking escalated becoming more visible and uncontrollable. I felt any moment now, the strength to take the next breath would be gone and I would end up in a puddle on the ground. Everyone would be so shocked and say, “Oh, my goodness, what’s wrong with Rebecca?” I had no idea what would happen next. I didn’t know what to do. I wondered if this was how it felt to go crazy.
Suddenly, in the midst of this intense battle, I felt a gentle hand on my back. As if somehow this hand yanked me from the fight and lifted me above the warfare long enough to catch my breath and stop the arrows for just a moment. This touch propelled love and compassion through my veins, overriding the debilitating doubts and fears. Strength and calm returned to my body. I could breath again and almost instantly my shaking stopped! Someone had reached through the dark veil and pulled me back to the present. I peeked to see whose hand had ministered the relief. It was Jessica, our new student teacher. She’d been sitting in the desk next to me. After prayer she looked over to me and asked, “Rebecca, are you alright? You were shaking.”
She just touched me. No words. No solutions. No magic potions. But her simple gesture overwhelmed my senses and stopped a torrent of fear from erupting. Her powerful act created a calm, peacefully stream of courage and hope to flow instead. Her touch pointed me in the right direction to finding the answer I so desperately needed to know.
A hero is someone you would want to emulate. Jessica matched the description perfectly that morning. She will never know how God used her simple act of kindness to help me. It humbled me, as it revealed my inability to do this thing called life alone. But even more, her willingness to reach out to one in need inspired me, even in my pain, to see past myself to those who may need a simple act of kindness.
I wonder how the leprous man must have felt the day Jesus reached out and touched his disease infested body. I imagine he may have felt somewhat like I did in that classroom prayer meeting; wondering if anyone could make a difference, wondering if there is still hope.
I have a feeling that he, like me, will
never again underestimate what a simple touch can do!
Hope
& Glory! To You ~ Love
Rebecca
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