Jealousy and all its Minions…
Jealousy is a
powerful, destructive emotion and I hate it. Like a selfish, undisciplined
child it has a way of demanding every bit of your attention; sucking the life
out of you and banishing real relationship from your presence. And unfortunately,
the darling feeling doesn’t travel solo.
Jealousy knocks down the door of your heart and enters with a myriad of
other lovely (gag) attitudes and
emotions. This entourage splashes gunk on everything beautiful and pure.
Some of Jealousy’s
most common companions include the twins, Critical and Judgmental. They’re
masters at noticing every possible problem or flaw, specializing in picking
apart the jealous person’s foe.
If they can’t actually
find anything, never fear! They have a solution for that. They simply wake up
their cohort Imagination and put it to work dreaming up off- the- wall scenarios.
Things get really hairy when Imagination joins in the gig because Imagination
has a way of convincing everyone that what they cogitate is fact.
With a blink of an
eye, Isolation and Exclusion’s cell phones are ringing, welcoming two more
destructive minions to join the take over of your heart. The loneliness engulfs
and starts the vicious cycle all over again.
Before you know
it, you are shoved in the corner along with everything good and lovely watching
Jealousy and its comrades wreak havoc with your life. You wonder how all this
happened. But more important, you wonder how to get all these emotions and
attitudes out so your heart can move and breath and love as God created it to
do.
Here are a few starting points to help
navigate through the ugly feelings of jealousy.
The first step is
to admit, “I’m jealous”. Believe it or not, that’s harder than it sounds. Acknowledging
your jealousy requires admitting that someone has what you’re not able (for whatever reason) to have at the
moment. You lack something or at least
perceive you lack something. That is humbling. Our natural flesh desires to be
on top: to be OK, to be the most loved, most intelligent, most talented, or most
needed. Admitting jealousy is also a huge step because we realize it’s wrong
and covetous. Tell God you know it’s wrong and you want it out of your life.
Almost in tandem
to admitting the fact that you’re jealous would be to force yourself to state
why. Be specific. This is metaphorically making Jealousy sit in a chair and
unmask, rather then allowing it the freedom to roam in your heart unattended.
The third step
involves asking God, “Why does (fill in
the blank) make me jealous? What am
I believing about myself or this situation that is not true?” This is actually getting to the root issue. Most
of the time we associate our self worth or value with whatever it is causing
the jealousy. We wrongly believe that if we had (blank) we would be more valuable or desirable. That, of course is
a lie.
Then it’s time to
take courage and kick Jealousy and all its cronies out. You are not more or
less valuable based on what you can or can’t do, how you look or don’t look
etc… And then (you’ve heard me say this a
lot lately) choose brokenness. Give up your right to have or be (blank). Realize that God has for you
exactly what He desires for you.
Sometimes what you
feel is not jealousy. It could be grief of a loss or a broken dream. Those things are not sinful. They’re just sad and painful. Don’t ignore it. Acknowledge it to God. Press into Him. You’d be amazed at how just
telling God it hurts makes you more at peace. Open up your hand and let Him
have it.
Psalm 62:8 “Trust in Him at all time; ye people, pour out
your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah.
Bottom line is
this. We often live, make our decisions
and build our relationships out of a false idea of our identity, of who we
really are. My prayer is that we will
all truly grasp what God says and believes about us.
When you and I are
secure in the Father’s love and acceptance of us, we have no need to be
jealous!
May you live free and light today!
Rebecca
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